Friday, July 31, 2009


dearest cousins, i know you already know, but i thought i would reiterate. i love you.

Thursday, July 30, 2009


first thought: sometimes i miss you so much i forget to breathe.
second thought: let the wild rumpus start.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


today, it occurred to me that perhaps, i have not moved forward at all. i am still waiting.

Monday, July 27, 2009


dearest brigid, i love our nightly chats.

today was rough, for no particular reason. yesterday, they were drunk and talking about post-modernism and how the quality of each day is measured by the day before. perhaps the quality of each day is dependent on the expectations you have for it. someday, i'll elaborate on everything i think.

Sunday, July 26, 2009


beyonce summer is coming to a close. but that is exactly what it is to me, the summer of beyonce.


i love my summer friends and my always friends. a lot.

Friday, July 24, 2009


we are growing up and we are learning it is tough. tougher, perhaps, than we thought.

Thursday, July 23, 2009


cousinfest/grandmafest is fast approaching. i am so stoked to see EVERY person i am related to on my mothers side. a whole week of welch loving, is just what we all need.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


summer is mighty fine.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


"watch the donut, not the hole"
thanks mom.

Monday, July 20, 2009


i tend to focus on the empty spaces. i need to start paying attention to what is, and not what is not.

Sunday, July 19, 2009


birthday lobsters to my z mate.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Friday, July 17, 2009


perhaps, a sentence a day, is too much.

Thursday, July 16, 2009


i am both dreading and looking forward to summers close. i hate endings. i love beginnings. i'm trying to concentrate on the beginnings.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


i am so full of love, for my new niche, i don't even know what to do. i had forgotten this feeling, and thought i missed it, but it is almost as bad as feeling too little love. this sort of people love makes me antsy, in a way that is impossible to explain, like i want to be best friends for years right now.

returning home can be such a bummer.


i am tired of (w)reckless relationships and the end of good things.


original thought "if you come back from wherever you are, let me know 'cause i miss you."

but as the day continued i realized it was better as:
i am comfortable in my own shoes, i love these new summer friends of mine as though they are family.

(a thought)
Can your heart be broken forever? Because I’ve read stories like that. Where the person goes away and the person he’s in love with thinks he’s dead and then he returns she is married to someone new. And what if your in love with the idea of something? Isn’t that just as real as any other sort of love? I don’t know anything about love. I don’t want to know anything about love. The new goal is to have no goals. Which is not to say to do nothing but just to not think about what I’m doing. That will never work. I don’t care.

Sunday, July 12, 2009


i danced my little heart out, and i felt the best i have in a long time.

Saturday, July 11, 2009


there are some lovely summer traditions. i am a gal that likes traditions.


it is a wonderful thing, to love where you work.

Thursday, July 9, 2009


the music is starting to hurt less, and really, what a silly thing to turn me upside down.

there are more losses to come, but there is always more to gain.
i tried, a hundred times.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


i am working on mastering the appropriate level of self analysis.

i am confident in myself, but not confident about lots of other things.
i always a need a crisis. i've got plenty.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009


yesterday, we stood in a circle and said what we wished for the next ten years.

"i wish for independence and adventure, which are really only things that i can give to myself. and to find new people to love and love me and to continue to love and be loved by those already in my life"

Monday, July 6, 2009


public enemies. realizing my madison pride. wanting pretty nails, pretty hair, and pretty dresses.


16 miles of biking. i hate hills.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

and if i could package up these words
in such a way
that you knew
it was me
it was me

(not realized but a fleeting thought before i have to drag my sorry ass to work. it will be more complete.)

jeff tweedy is my poetic/lyrical hero.

Saturday, July 4, 2009


i miss being able to listen to music without getting a stomach ache.

Friday, July 3, 2009


boys el suck-o. friends el rock-o.

my bear fambly is driving me up the wall. but i can't tell if it is a lack of tolerance on my part or if their just being ridiculous.

Thursday, July 2, 2009


i am still waiting... for an answer? for a question?

i am so ready for a long night of sleeping but i have to wake up early for work tomorrow.

Will You Be There

a tribute to both MJ and a reminder of my favorite childhood movie Free Willy.

In all seriousness, I really like this song. It is one of MJ's best.

I am sentimental about stupid things. This nearly made me cry.

of course, i am currently to computer stupid to figure out how to make the fucking video show up. haha.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


another thing to add to the pile of things that are lost/broken and yet, i don't feel that terrible.

perhaps it doesn't seem real or perhaps, i am learning to take the blows more gracefully.