Friday, June 19, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
6.18.09
perhaps, mother, being struck by lightning is the answer. electrify some sense into your little girl.
Well you lasted a second
You lasted a year
But you were, gone in quite a hurry
And my face hit the pavement
And I walked off the tears
But now baby doncha worry
(i'm writing a country song)
my lack of musical talent is no longer dismaying, and perhaps this will allow me to gain the musical talent i have so long desired.
i wish things i could write things as perfect as joanna newsom. my bones are heavy with the loss of the way things used to be, and she knows the feeling. i am moving forward, and that is good, this forward motion, or that's what i've heard, and i suppose it's true but who says that i am always the one needing advice and that really, i am not just waiting to give you my piece of mind?
our strengths are our weaknesses, and i am learning that i am not made all wrong but just made different and that these traits i hold are not inherently bad, and perhaps even good.
and i am full of anger. i never used to be angry. i don't even really get angry. but i am angry for being allowed to believe that the way i do things is wrong, and that i need to change it.
i am losing my patience. which is silly, because everyone is being patient with me.
i can't make my thoughts clear.
Well you lasted a second
You lasted a year
But you were, gone in quite a hurry
And my face hit the pavement
And I walked off the tears
But now baby doncha worry
(i'm writing a country song)
my lack of musical talent is no longer dismaying, and perhaps this will allow me to gain the musical talent i have so long desired.
i wish things i could write things as perfect as joanna newsom. my bones are heavy with the loss of the way things used to be, and she knows the feeling. i am moving forward, and that is good, this forward motion, or that's what i've heard, and i suppose it's true but who says that i am always the one needing advice and that really, i am not just waiting to give you my piece of mind?
our strengths are our weaknesses, and i am learning that i am not made all wrong but just made different and that these traits i hold are not inherently bad, and perhaps even good.
and i am full of anger. i never used to be angry. i don't even really get angry. but i am angry for being allowed to believe that the way i do things is wrong, and that i need to change it.
i am losing my patience. which is silly, because everyone is being patient with me.
i can't make my thoughts clear.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
and the question is still the same, for everyone always
do you still think of me, even when i'm not around
and they ask "why does it matter?"
and i don't have an answer
but a feeling in my guts
that tells me to run for cover
when people forget
they forget for good
i am. so. frustrated. and worried. and sad.
with good things, come bad things.
i can not handle the world.
and the world can not handle me.
but we will continue trying anyways.
(my dearest friends
if ever there is a question
about my love for you
1)let me know.
2)know that i love you.
3)know that i think of you often.
4)know that the thing listed above apply to new friends and old
5)know that i like when people contact me in any way shape or from
6)know that i never think it weird
7)know that you are wonderful, in my book.
we need to be reminded sometimes.
we need to be reminded often.
do you still think of me, even when i'm not around
and they ask "why does it matter?"
and i don't have an answer
but a feeling in my guts
that tells me to run for cover
when people forget
they forget for good
i am. so. frustrated. and worried. and sad.
with good things, come bad things.
i can not handle the world.
and the world can not handle me.
but we will continue trying anyways.
(my dearest friends
if ever there is a question
about my love for you
1)let me know.
2)know that i love you.
3)know that i think of you often.
4)know that the thing listed above apply to new friends and old
5)know that i like when people contact me in any way shape or from
6)know that i never think it weird
7)know that you are wonderful, in my book.
we need to be reminded sometimes.
we need to be reminded often.
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